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John and Edward Survive for PR Purposes
John
Edward
So John and Edward are through. Yes! Woot woot. This tribute act to David Lynch’s classic won’t win the eventual final but having Simon Cowell’s show devalued in such an embarrassing way is wonderful entertainment.
We love crass. And John and Edward are a crass act.
In my day it was acts like Kenny and Chicory Tip who polluted the charts with backing tapes made by session musicians over which these cheerful chummy chavs would strut excitedly onto the famous TOTP stage and mime. We would scream at the telly and declare death sentences on the guilty. Many actually paid good money to keep them in ciggies for a year.
Nothing changes.
“Die you bastards.” Oh you know I don’t mean it. I am sure John and Edward have a direct debit with Save a Donkey but they simply cannot sing or dance.
File in gay icon category. And no I am not homophobic just punch drunk to image marketing.
The reason why the wonderful sitcom, Extras was so successful was because Gervais and Merchant eeked out the cult of celebrity and distributed its innards around your front room.
John and Edward are your traditional Vaudeville flops. But wait, they just can’t go off stage before we have thrown some more tomatoes. Now, thanks to the phone vote, we can. Maybe even for a couple of years.
We love you, John and Edward. Aww bless.
The whole show reeked of crass. How we laughed when Whitney attempted one more platitude armed with a whiff of crack pipe between takes.
Me? I blew some Helium.
Meanwhile Clive the Aged Prophet uttered a couple more encouraging one liners like “Keep it up yeah” while soaking up the tributes from Cowell, who should know better, that this man alone (not Epstein) was pivotal to all our record collections.
He discovered Whitney. Gobshite.
Cheryl Cole, intent on blowing everyone off the stage, shocked us all with her “risqué” cheerleader garb and, with the help of around 73 dancers, succeeded in showing how a lack of basic talent could be masqued by persona and a thick layer of war paint.
Altogether now gulls. We’re worth it.
Leona Lewis has talent. But in the absence of any imminent catfights in posh night clubs, the media aren’t going to give her the coverage that Amy Winehouse receives in spades.
Jamie Archer isn’t a bad singer. But wait. There’s something missing. Nice hair. But where’s the guitar or even a banjo? Trumpet? Gob iron even? Songwriting? Null points.
We get what we deserve. Enjoy John and Edward’s journey to red tabloid hell. Now where did I put those fish heads?
Picture credit: www.davidlynch.com
Sharing a stage with Brian May
I am not leading you up the garden path with some vague notion that I am going to replace Paul Rodgers in Queen, but yes I was three behind the great man at Liverpool John Moores University’s graduation ceremony. Yeah that’s me in the middle with my head cut off in fetching pink! If can get a better one, you will be the first to know.
Dr May is the university’s Chancellor and, apart from composing some of the most memorable rock songs ever, he is pretty nifty on the old calculator too with a PhD in Astrophysics. So now I have broken the illusion for you, what’s my point? It’s about celebrity.
You may have read my piece about Michael Jackson which was written at the time of his death. The problem is that some celebrities believe the hype. Once they believe the great things that are written about them, it becomes very difficult to come down from a high and do ordinary things like order a bag of chips, mow the lawn. And yet that’s where it’s at.
Basically, as human beings we need light, heat, food and love. That’s. We receive too much heat, spotlights and heaps of hedonistic fayre, the picture becomes extremely distorted. Metallica, my friend Glenn Hughes, David Coverdale, Robbie Williams all suffered the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, but noticed some time later that levitation alluded even them.
Dr Brian May is a shining example of someone who has always put the celebtrity baggage aside and carry on achieving. There is then a correlation between rock music and business. We are all in danger of believing our own hype. Grounding through study, reading and finding out about what other people have achieved past and present all help us to become better people. Achievement is one thing. Being a strong person to carry it all through, without treading on others, is another
This year seven of our students on the BA Business and Public Realtions degree received firsts. Many others achieved 2.s and 2.2s. Whatever the grade, the achievements are still to come the rewards are round the corner if you know where to look. Sometimes the answer is staring at you in the face. It was for me. Only last year I converted to teaching in higher education. It was the best move I have ever made and yet it took me six years to realise what I was really good at.
Sharing a stage with Dr May was an inspirational moment and one I am not shy of sharing.
My Life with Michael
The untimely death of Michael Jackson will not disappear from our newspapers overnight. From time to time, new evidence will come to light over the custody of the children, his fortune and his misfortune. Celebrity is the Room 101 of PR. Because of the impact the icon had on its audience, the myth can permeate to such an extent that it never completely dies with the person.
Elvis physically died in the 70′s but we are still hearing of sightings and the conspiracy theories over 30 years later. We don’t wish to know that The King had the veins of a 70 year old man and died straining on the loo thanks all the same.
I wouldn’t be surprised if there are quite few books in the publishing pipeline as I read this.” The Jackson I Knew” by his cousin twice removed on his ex wife’s side of the family maybe. And then there’s the accusations of paedophilia. Even bearing in mind Martin Bashir’s excellent piece of TV a few years ago, I am not convinced that Jackson used children for sexual gratification. Misguided yes, but anyhow my opinion is immaterial. What will be interesting is how this rather dark period will be PR’d in the future, either by the Jackson Estate or those who feel that libel laws will give bounty hunters the opportunity to squeeze a few grand through allegations that their kids were abused by Jackson.
The next big news rush will surround the publishing rights to his songs. Bright sparks will emerge with their own legal take on who owns what. From my own personal point of view, let’s hope Paul McCartney can wrest back the rights to the Beatles songs which Jackson rather deviously acquired after famously asking Paul’s advice on ways to invest money.
In PR your paths necessarily cross with celebrities, one or two might become clients. A second hand story from Hollywood emanated from my client, Glenn Hughes who was,in the band Deep Purple, the biggest selling act in the United States at the time. Imagine for a moment you are 22 years of age at a celebrity function and in walks John Wayne. Now your experience of Big John is from those amazing westerns of the 40′s and 50′s so you sidle up to him with your equally nervous friend, none other than David Coverdale. who was later to find further fame and fortune with Whitesnake. You ask for an autograph and The Duke’s eyes light up “Deep Purple? My daughter loves you guys. Can you sign this?”
Celebrity is what you perceive not what the person is. It’s a commodity. Branding. And many people take on the brand full square on the forehead, fans and artists alike. Some, like Metallica, believed their own hype and got into all sorts of bother with drugs to keep the high high. Glenn’s story is well documented elsewhere and will be released later this year, thanks to the expert authorship of Joel McIvor (who also wrote Metallica’s). A book currently out of print is Rock n Roll Babylon by Gary Herman which contains all the morbid back stage stories. eBay is your best bet.
Michael Jackson’s branding is once again marketable after his death and will remain so depending who gets the rights to his estate and who controls his business interests. It’s as if the trial didn’t happen. Elvis didn’t fart himself to death. Similarly Jacko never got into bed with Macaulay Culkin and read comics. The brilliant dancing in Thriller. That’s what’s about right now. With Elvis and John Lennon, it was pretty straight forward. The wives controlled the branding, more so in Priscilla’s case. Slap Elvis’s image on a t shirt without permission and you run the risk of a solicitor’s letter from Memphis. Pretty damn soon the “RIP Michael” t shirts people have lovingly assembled will become law suits.
The King of Pop is Dead. Long Live the King of Pop.
Picture source: livenews.com.au
Updates
Annnd here they come thick and fast as predicted. Here’s one of the bouncers pitching in with a beauty
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